Ways of Being

Lately I have noticed a beautiful shift when I focus on my way's of being rather than my to do list. If I begin my day saying today I want to be joyous, then everything I do that day comes from joy and surprisingly I get a lot more done then if I had written out all the things I needed to do and just focused on the doing part. It also has been lovely for days when I don't have a giant to do list. Today I will be at peace, I will be present, I will be in my body. It's a simple shift, but a great one. BE DO HAVE rather than DO HAVE BE. I invite you to take this small practice and use it. Who do you want to be today? What do you want to cultivate?

Let Me In!

Letting people in is hard, and something I certainly do not excel at. But it may very well be the answer to saving our planet. I find it's when I hide, brush off, escape the world around me and the people in it, that I begin to feel cut off from my emotions,  anxious and depressed.

Now think about how long you maintain eye contact with people in your life. The next time you are looking into someones eyes count and see, how long are you actually able to connect with someone? I find that most people don't look you in the eye, and if they do it's not for long. And when someone does look you in the eye and hold eye contact for a long time it's unnerving and out of the ordinary.

So now think about what would happen if more people connected with more people.......

We would feel more empathy for strangers....
We would be more engaged with our political world....
We would be more present, which would increase our happiness and decrease our anxiety.
Our communities and species as a whole would become more connected, there would be less violence and hate......

The list goes on and on. How we start is small, just try to look people in the eye and really listen to them. Give them time. It's hard. It's really hard. In LA people have blinders on and they are stressed and racing through life. Let's slow it down people, connect, see what world changing we could do if we just try. 

The right place at the right time

        We spend a lot of our lives second guessing what we should do, what we could be doing, what we should have done. The old shoulda, coulda's...............
        In my life I want to cultivate the TRUST that I am in the right place at the right time, always.  I believe that by doing this, I WILL always be in the right place at the right time.
       Sometimes this is hard, we feel like we made a mistake, or missed out on something. I don't want to miss out on anything. Everyday we are faced with so many choices, and just like the butterfly affect we have no idea what one small choice will lead to. I know that for me this fear can be crippling at times, and then even the smallest decisions can seem too big and overwhelming. This is why on my adventures and journey's this summer I will TRUST that I am in the right place at the right time.  That whatever choice I make is the right choice, and that the universe will give me exactly what I need. With this new awareness I can see that the universe has been giving me exactly what I need. Some of it has been hard, and some of it has been sweet..........
       It gives you a sense of ease and joy to feel that you are in the right place at the right time, and maybe because of this, you are able to find happiness and peace in each moment. I remind myself that our natural state is one of happiness. With this thought, and the trust that I am in the right place at the right time, I can't help but feel peace and joy:)

Finding Happiness in 2016

It's the beginning of a new year, and just in time too. These last 4 weeks have been really hard for me, and that's saying something! I'm one tough cookie, but lately the universe has really tested that theory. Which is why, it is so wonderful to get a chance to start fresh. It's only the mark of a new year, but as you well know, it does feel like more. We welcome the chance to start over, to make this year better than the last. We make promises, resolutions, and manifestos for our new life.
One that I read this morning caught my attention, "Stop making yourself miserable by letting someone take up space in your head." -Suzanne Lucas.
This is one of the many things I have been battling these last couple weeks. We all have so much potential for creativity, for ideas, for changing the world, and unfortunate we waste a lot of the energy and space we have on someone else, or even worse someone or something that makes us miserable. So lets stop that in 2016. Easier said then done, but I refuse to be drug into the depths again by life, I will go down fighting this time. I'm not going to give up on my happiness, because I deserve to be happy. And that is something that took a long time to face, and it is still something I am fighting to fully internalize.
There is already so much out there waiting to test us, and make us miserable, we don't need to manifest it inside ourselves.  We need to put ourselves at the top of our priority list, not at the bottom, or worse not even on it. I can't promise myself that I won't be crushed by life again, but I can promise myself that I won't be the crusher. I'm on my side this time. I'm fighting for me.

Lost and Found

I feel like my life is on two different sides of the street and I don't know which side to walk on, so I just keep walking down that center line.....but sooner or later I'm going to get hit by a fucking car.


We all have moments were we feel so complete, so found, so confident that we are doing exactly what we need to be doing, we are exactly were we're suppose to be.
We also all have moments where we feel lost, where we don't know what to do or where to be.
I think it's so easy to get lost in this world, especially this Los Angeles life. The outside noise can drowned out your own, the beast can swallow you, and you will not feel in control.
When these moments of Lost happen it would be nice to always take some time for yourself; stop working, go to the beach, do some yoga, but unfortunately sometimes you are forced to live in this real world and the real word doesn't care how you feel today; you still have to show up to work, you still have your responsibilities.  I know that free will and choice exist but they sure as hell are hard to Find sometimes.

Tune me up!

"Attunement. It means to bring into harmony. To tune the instrument. What are we but simply instruments, waiting to be tuned?"

-Anthony Meindl

I've been going through a lot of physical pain lately, and fighting anger and depression, because movement is a HUGE part of my well-being, and with my pain I can't move. I can't do anything really. I have SO much sympathy for anyone with chronic pain! It can turn you into a monster. I have been absolutely horrible to myself and to everyone around me, especially those who care the most. BUT I plan to heal; not just my physical ailments, but my mental ones as well. I need to be re-tuned! My life has gotten out of sync along with my back and body. I'm back home, and I have faith that my time here will heal me. We all need adjustments at times, windows of opportunity to re-center ourselves, replenish, re-tune. Lets get back insync shall we?

No extra points for the struggle

So, nothing puts your life in perspective like your back going out. Suddenly all that complaining about medial things seems pale in comparison. I am a person who is lured to the dark side. The dark side being the side of struggle and heartache. If it's not hard, its not "worth" as much. If it's easy, then it's not as "important." These ideas become very silly when your whole body hurts.
You don't get extra points for the struggle. This is a phrase I hear in my acting world all the time. There is an idea that as an actor you have to struggle; you have to sleep in your car, and go hungry, and live a very hard life at times in order to keep being an actor. BUT that is not a requirement, there are not extra points for the struggle.
I am trying to learn that struggle doesn't add value to the outcome. I'm trying to learn that if something is easy then that's wonderful, and just as valuable, and important as something that was birthed out of pain and struggle.
 I'm trying to learn that if something is very hard, heartbreaking, and causing me to struggle a lot, it doesn't mean that it's the BEST thing for me to do. My stubborn blood boils and I get tunnel vision and I live in that struggle, instead of taking a step back and asking "Does it have to be this hard? Is there is an easier way? Can I let this struggle and story go?"
It's hard to take that step back. It's hard to feel good when your not struggling, or when something comes easy. How fucked up is that?
So, thank you back pain for making me take a step back and look for an easier ways to live.....at least for today.